So, this doesn't help my abandonment issues at all, but the GF decided to cut out of her 3 month commitment to working through our issues. It's a shock, and I really thought we had more together than that - I would have done anything for her - to make her happy, to protect her, love and cherish, etc. I don't think love like that comes along every day; but maybe it really was nothing special - if so, I suppose there's no loss for her in throwing the dice again. I suppose I'm not able to be unbiased at the moment.
It was starting to seem inevitable over the past few weeks. She went a little back and forth, so I had some hope, but I just have to accept that it's just meant to be like this. It hurts a lot, but I'm glad she gave me a little bit of time to process the idea and now I feel like I can handle it better. That 180 degree switch in under a week (while I was out of town) didn't give me enough time to understand what the hell was going on.
In the short term, I know I'm still a catch. I'm fun to be with, supportive, open with affection, know how to make girls feel good, etc. I don't need to worry about dealing with those deeper commitment/abandonment issues unless I meet a very special girl someday. And the one departing was pretty amazing (until she switched it off), so it would be pretty tough to one up her.
On a more positive note, I tried surfing for the first time today, and it was awesome. I stood up on my first wave; and then rode like 10 more. The waves were small, so no pummeling, but my arms got tired pretty quickly - it didn't feel like I was working too hard most of the time, but I think it's a good workout. I'll probably be sore in the morning =)
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