emotions suck?

Until the last 4 months, I never quite understood how difficult it is to recover from a relationship when you really give your heart to someone and then they crush it. My ex has this 'friendly while cruel' thing going that seems to make it even harder on me. I find it hard to believe that she doesn't realize that complaining about things from early in the 3.5 year relationship after the fact is not very nice. Not after she's already ended it, refused a proposal, and decided to date girls. If she would have mentioned any of those things while we were still together, and I would have changed them or at least worked on them... Now it's unfortunately WAY too late =( Which seems to mean to me that they are just silly excuses. Even the dating girls thing (which she has done during this 4 months), is just a silly & cruel excuse. She may date some girls for a while, even a few years; but I predict that she will be married (to a guy) within 5 years (September 2012). I suppose it's possible I'm wrong on this, but I really don't think so. In the 3.5 years with her, the only prediction about her that I've been wrong on was that she would actually leave me, and that her emotions wouldn't tie her tighter to the relationship. Most everything else significant, I've been able to predict, even while she's saying she's going to do the opposite. I still think she wouldn't have moved out if my Dad hadn't been living with us for 8 months and she hadn't gotten a big pay increase at work at just the right moment.

So, if I'm right about her marrying a guy before too long, then what the hell is she doing? Maybe she's just being rebellious. Partially rebellious against her Mom (she told me that she felt wrong about getting married, cause it's what her Mom wants), but partially rebellious against me (she even hates the idea I can predict her for some reason). It's pretty lame to be rebellious against ones parents when you are 28 years old and don't even talk to them all that often, but I'm just not the controlling type, so it's seems even sillier to rebel against me. Well, for a bonus prediction, I bet the guy she ended up marrying is more controlling.

The real issue here is WTF is my problem? If a relationship between the two of us is meant to be, then it will happen somehow. If not, then I'm better off without her. I should be excited to take advantage of my single status. Sucks that it is hard to feel that way =(

Are lingering emotions like these there to tell us something that is important to listen to, or are they just lingering remnants of a lower type of gut level thinking?
Even at a higher level, I've programmed myself to be hooked on her. I thought that all indications were good that I'd never have to reverse this self-hypnosis, but apparently I was way off.