It's weird how emotions sometimes don't really seem very useful. I suppose I've been emotionally sensitive lately; the intensities are all out of proportion.
This morning I left my Dad in the driveway, truck fully ladden, almost ready to head for the open road and a ~2400 mile drive to my birth town of Irons, Michigan.
I feel guilty, like I'm pushing him away before he was totally ready to leave; but I also feel happy about the separation. He's been living with me for 8 months. I think it allowed me to work out some issues with him (or in my own head), but come on... I shouldn't have to feel guilty to say that I'd rather not live with my parent, right?
All these intense contradictory emotions don't seem to be very useful... I mean, what is the intent? Just to get some kind of reaction, any random reaction - and maybe that will be better. Are emotions akin to what a mouse experiences in a maze? An electrical shock at a dead end and the whiff of cheese around a corner? sooner or later, we'll stumble our way through...?
Now I have a garage full of left over items which didn't fit in the truck. Need to sell some and ship some... that will take some time.
This morning I left my Dad in the driveway, truck fully ladden, almost ready to head for the open road and a ~2400 mile drive to my birth town of Irons, Michigan.
I feel guilty, like I'm pushing him away before he was totally ready to leave; but I also feel happy about the separation. He's been living with me for 8 months. I think it allowed me to work out some issues with him (or in my own head), but come on... I shouldn't have to feel guilty to say that I'd rather not live with my parent, right?
All these intense contradictory emotions don't seem to be very useful... I mean, what is the intent? Just to get some kind of reaction, any random reaction - and maybe that will be better. Are emotions akin to what a mouse experiences in a maze? An electrical shock at a dead end and the whiff of cheese around a corner? sooner or later, we'll stumble our way through...?
Now I have a garage full of left over items which didn't fit in the truck. Need to sell some and ship some... that will take some time.
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